Tuesday, April 22, 2014

stainless steel

I just realized that that actually.. i cant be scolded. Spoiled much?

I cry in the OT last month when my boss scold me because i touch the instruments. 'houseman why you took that? Its not your job to do that. You dont touch anything.' i dont know why so emotional, spontaneously burst out tears. Not that obvious, just pool of tears in the eyes. But i think my boss noticed that, since then it was an awkward moment whenever i have to deal with him. but i guess its a good thing since he never scold me again after that. a very known most malignant specialist in the dept, you are really screwed if you messed with him and all duration stay in dept is like living hell.

And today, again being scolded because patient went home with JKTU drugs that havent sign by specialist/consultant. we got the meds owing the pharmacist signature since patient have to go back early to Kelantan. when i try to get their signature on the next day, yes of course they make a big deal about it. and he just throw the JKTU form to me without sign it. *sigh.

and everytime got scolded by my MO or specialist, i'll cry. this dept is the winner make me cry so much since i work so far. i dont know if i feel bad of myself or i feel mad at them.

ohhh.

i still not yet to have steel heart. i hate being scolded. i really cant tolerate it. sometimes i feel weak. i wish my heart is stronger than that.