Saturday, November 23, 2013


Ida says: we've all lose one or two things here. but we gained more than what we've lost. we come back everytime because it keeps our sanity intact. there is always, someone having a harder time than you. and if there is someone who makes you pull all your hair out, there is also someone who can make you smile.

Z says: The regulars, monitored, helped, fooled round, pulled puns on each other and mostly catching up with each other's life. We came from very different backgrounds and yet we have managed to bond and come to yearn for each other's company.
life gets to us sometimes and if i were to be in their shoes one day, alone, aimless, hungry, i would damn appreciate it if one person would smile at me, extend an arm and hand me a packet of biscuits for sustenance.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Hazri says: 
Siang, engkau penuh kejayaan,
Malam, engkau sepi dengan rahsia,
Berkaki lima tetapi infiniti dengan mimpi,
Duka atau gembira,
konkrit jadi peti rahsia,
Tiada siapa tahu,tiada siapa kisah,
Kota penuh rahsia,
Kota penuh mimpi,
Kota penuh hampa,

Ain says: 
In the quiet of the dark as the moon looked on with sympathetic eyes, 
They wander the streets so lonely,
without hope, 
without dreams, 
without direction.
Midnight souls fuel the empty pavements, 
carving initials with their spines as they lie shivering.
Like unwanted remains of a city street, 
they are left to wait, 
left to contemplate, 
left alone, 
hoping for a brand new day.

Wawan says:
We’re all hoping for a Superman to come and swoop in to save the day.
But we tend to forget that we’re Super ourselves.
The fact that we’re vulnerable and that anything can happen to us
when we walk out the door every other day.
Somehow we still find the courage to go out in the world
and make it a better place even just a little.

Amy says:
..... and we're not just a soupfriends. we're more than that,

we're friends.

Friday, November 1, 2013

bring it on

we really short number of ppl in scn(special care nursery) now. im supposed to leave last week, but hv to stay to help my colleague. i don't mind. the babies; they're so adorable, and annoying. small, and strong. they're so small cute annoyingly adorable little creatures. and i love them.

You never fail to smile too when seeing those beautiful smiles of babies. Little piece of heaven on earth

and I am a medium from Allah to help them, for first few minutes crucial time of life, to breath, to see the world. and im honored for that.

my prev leader was kinda of bitch. i dont know whts her problem. the schedule is a mess and she's a emo bitch, so difficult to talk to her. like last week, im S3(9pm-12pm) alone. that's not a problem, but the issue was no body's doing S1(7am-5pm). no ho in the morning except me postcall last night. with flood of admission in the night, sleepless night, blood coming morning, and did morning review alone for the whole ward. i started doing my am review at 430am and manage to finish all the babies at 9am. fuhhhh. im supposed to back at 12, but hv to stay till 5 and did pm review alone as well. it was wayyy beyond my limit. even number of mo is more than houseman. i cried few times on that day. maybe actually im stronger than that. but when nurses said, dr sorg ke dr? eyh dr tak blk lg? kesiannya dr. tears break down.

and when ong houseman from postnatal ward called scn looking for peads houseman. no body else available to attend the case. 'dr peads can u attend the baby now? the baby is extremely jaundice extend to thigh and legs. i wont be responsible if anything happened'.  wht just did u said? ok fine. you dont want to be responsible. actually it can wait for postnatal ho to attend but he keep calling scn every 5min. i attend the baby, he's not yellow at all, not even tinge of jaundice. what the hell?! so tired in ward and still has to run all over the building. what...

so yesterday I'm S2(7am-10pm) alone, at labor room. how come only 1 ho standby in lr? thts what ppl ask the whole day. even 2 ppl is not enough, still kelam kabut. i dont know why, ask my prev leader. thank god postcall ppl stayed with me till 12pm. (usually postcall will go home around 8-9 if we hv enough no of ppl). i tell myself, sokay i can handle it. it was a peaceful day for first few hours and i still can manage it alone until..
2 operation theater open at the same time to finish 3 elective case ceaserean section for today. i was like ok, keep calm. attend 1 by 1. attend the 1st case, complete everythng and go to another ot. couldnt make it, baby delivered already and attended by ong houseman and nurse. baby's good. so i just complete the documentation.

the next hour, pac called to attend bba (birth before arrival) baby. another pregnant lady sent up to labor room in labor for twin babies. and 1 case for emlcsc for fetal distress in operation theater. all needs peads houseman to standby. i felt like im the most wanted ppl yesterday. only me, hv to be at 3 places at the same time. wht should i do? which 1 to attend 1st? called for help, went to scn ask if they could attend the bba baby. but unfortunately, only taggers n just-offtag ho, they didnt do nrp yet so they not yet confident to attend the case. ok keep calm. find help find help, post natal ho come and help me. she's very busy as well. sorry wani, and thank you very much. she attends the twin babies. i went to pac 1st, assess the bba baby, baby's apparently well, ditch him, rush to ot attend emlcsc. called my mo, baby born well, settle the documentation and everythng and went to back to pac.

milakh suppose to do s3 tonight. but he came early to help me. ohh thnk God. he attends the 3rd case of elective case, helps me settle the twin babies and with the other things. I'm glad you came, and sacrifice ur day. thank you so much.

oh my goddd. seriously. i so damn tired. and palpitation all the time. adrenaline rush most of the time. still, try to keep calm and smile. but couldn't wash off tired look of my face

so wht happend yesterday actually was a mess. the work burden, was beyond the limit. life is sucks. so? either to whine and complain about it, or be happy, enjoy it and try to extract the positive thing in it. and i think actually this is a good thing. it kinda fun?. and maybe i enjoy it, a little bit. it train myself to embrace the situation. and i love myself when im busy, occupied and distracted with work. im proud of myself today. yes i can do it! my colleague once told me, you never know what you're capable to do until push to your limit. 

at the end of the day i feel so damn tired, even slept while im driving and suffered from gastritis as well, and i feel good. *pat on shoulder.

quote from my colleague: I don’t think I could handle the work burden. Well I think I could, but maybe by that I need to forget being married and to remember that have a family.


Thursday, October 24, 2013

escaped II

short break.12hours roadtrip. it was awesome.

we hv planned to visit Amy in PD weeks ago. unfortunately my super emo leader wont tell which day I'm off so i cant decide if i can go or not as my friend only off on Monday. so when my schedule released on Sunday, i just knew that i got that Monday off but my friend already has a plan.

but.. on Sunday night we decided to continue with the plan n go to PD after she finishing her errand tomorrow.

so roadtrip. yeay!

its really makan angin santai2 roadtrip.

we're supposed to meet up at Zoo but then sudden changed of plan. so I pick up a friend at Subang, long way lost, but safely arrived at UPM. waiting for another friend to finish her errand. had tour around the veterinar faculty and visited animal museum, then headed to Cyberjaya for lunch. pick up Miss Ida otw, had nice lunch at Padi with rain in that afternoon, drop back our lunch company at Lim Kok Wing and straight away to PD. 

we went to this 1 private? beach. tersorok and away from public with no one's there. and a lots of trees. someone excited already brought together tuna and coffee, with picnic mat. 
its so damn cool and relaxing. just remind me a little piece of Alex. 
picnic, mandi pantai, laughing, sunbathing, relaxing.

and Amy came join us after she finished her work around 6. waiting for sunset and twent to Amy's place. dinner and lepaking then headed back to kl around 11pm. 
thank you Amy for dinner and hospitality. 

otw home, around midnight, we stopped by visited Kicap. Kicap is a horse btw. a big horse.

we had fun. so much fun. a lot of joy and laugh. 
thts wht really i need at the moment. away from work and stuff; I'm tired. 
escaped from my routine life and hanging out with super cool friends.
(though somebody has doubt about that; how a stoner, a hyper and a tomboy? will be on a roadtrip? haha.) our 1st trip together and well... its a good combination though. :p

safely arrived home around 1.30am and i hv to work coming morning. super tired, and happy.
thank you guys.


Friday, August 2, 2013


22/7/13 @ 2330. @ ED Hosp Banting.

25years old/ malay/ lady
no known medical illness

fever x4/7 w chills and rigor. started on friday 19/7/13
diarrhea x 4/7 loose watery stool. 2x/d
rashes x1/7 on L UL.

malaise, lethargy
headache and dizziness

otherwise no vomiting, no myalgia/arthalgia, no retroorbital pain
living in dengue prone area (kg baru)
no hx of recent fogging. last- few months ago
no hx of recent travelling, or swimming in lake/river.

LMP 16/7/13. regular.

Family hx: NAD

surgical hx: lasik in 2012  NAD

past hx: no known medical illness, 1st hospitalization.

conscious, alert, pink, crt less than 2s, good pulse volume, warm peripheries.
BP 90/60
HR tachy
T 39
RR 20
lung: clear. BEAE
PA: tender on epigastric area, soft, BS present

FBC: WBC 2.8 Hct 40.2 Plt 131.

imp: viral fever TRO DF. Day 4 of illness, febrile phase. with warning signs.


  1. IV omeprazole 40mg BD.
  2. T. PCM 1g PRN
  3. IVD NS 10ml/kg/H then reasses
  4. FBC 4hourly
  5. vital signs 2hourly
  6. to inform if HR more 120, BP less 90/60
  7. w/o warning signs
  8. encouraged orally


it sucks to be a patient. new record, i slept 40hours straight at onset of the illness. and i got 11 days MC for that. not very good though because i hv to replace my MC working days. tsk.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

of viva


so 1 down. 5 more to go. mcm da hbs medical terus je kn. heee. at least 75% done.  a month left in medical and tinggal utk completekn log book and oncall saja lg.

so far rase dipermudahkan juga because my examiner are Dr N and Dr R. when i saw my name with them, partially relieved because everybody said they're very nice.

and yesterday i have like worse dysmenorrhea ever. 1st dysmenorrhea so far at work. i completed my job at 11am and sleep all afternoon cant bare with the pain and nausea as well. urghhh. go back home sharp at 4 and continue sleep till night. i dont know when i open my book and read. and the pain still does not relieved till i come to work today. really, im so not ready for viva today. with pain and hypo as well this morning.

and Alhamdulillah only 10pts in ward today, other than regular boss did round and she did very fast. double relieved. 3 of my pt kiv discharged pm, none of them hv big issue. so then nothing much for me to do in the morning.
and thanks to my teammate cover and did my job in ward and help me revise for viva today.

I wish they postpone the exam, but then get a phone call confirm viva at 2pm today at SACC building. there are 5 of us in the same group. before starting, the examiner asking us, do u want examine 1 by 1 or all of u want to enter together. so we decided to enter all together. less anxiety and maybe we can help each other. so all 5 of us sit side by side and being examine 1 by 1 in the room.

im the 2nd person. i got ecg and ask to interpret it. it was extensive ant MI with ST elevation in v2-v6. and further question are how to manage; just tell everything about the drugs and dose, precaution in streptokinase, absolute and relative CI, complications, SE. and last questions, complications of MI.
honestly, im not very fluent answering those questions, few err... and.. i just did my best.

my other colleague got COPD, mx , organisms and choice of antibiotics. VT and the mx. drugs and SE of anti TB medication. malaria. another ACS. and BA.

our examiner are very super duper nice. all of us pass.
though honestly i think we answer fairly enough. not really very well. and we just borderline pass.
sokay, at least we pass.
they even said, we're here not to fail you. and we dont want to give you a pressure.

thank you very much Drs.


so now hv to read. read. and read.
pass viva doesnt mean i'm a good doctor. still hv a lot to read and learn.

and reminder..
dont let ourself be a unsafe doctor.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


got 1 pt. i clerk her yesterday.

38yo/MALAY/LADY. underlying ?schizo/ substance induced psycosis, RVD +ve with co-infection hep C,  EX IVDU on methadone therapy. presented with fever, lethargy, nausea, vomiting x1, dysuria, loss of appetite and abdominal pain for 4 days. otherwise no URTI symptoms.  urine dipstick leukocyte 3+ and blood 2+.
so we treated her for AGE and UTI.

i took all blood ix and start treatment appropriately. pt is a afebrile but noted that blood pressure is persistently borderline low. 90/60. run fast 1 pint NS and give IVD and monitor the vital hourly and to inform if persistently drop KIV to start inotrope.

that pt was not in my cubicle. i only clerk her. so, ok settled the case.

today this morning, that particular pt, developed respiratory distress. SPO2 85-90% under RA. upgrade to VM 60% still low about 90%.  abg stat O2 saturation 87%.

so they decided to transfer her to acute cubicle.

since i know the case, so my colleague pass over the case to me.

they conclude that pt may developed iatrogenic pulmonary oedema dt fluid overload because urine output only 500cc leaves positive balance positive 2500cc.
later then did CXR. it is fairly clear. only borderline cardiomegaly no pulmonary oedema.
SPO2 improved 97% on high flow mask. otherwise pt not complain of SOB at all. but BP still low.
noted Cr 470 WBC 24 and Hb 7.9.
so she's already immunocompromissed with underlying infection with sepsis, anemia, ?AKI. ?PCP (pneumocystic carinii) and hv hx allergic to bactrim.

she frequently defaulted TCA of HAART treatment and developed resistant already. now awaiting  for NGO support to start 2nd line treatment because the drugs are expensive. obviously she's not even care of herself. but now seek for medical advice and i hv to took care of her.

since the pt has hx of allergy to bactrim, referred her to infectitious disease team hosp Sgbuloh for further mx and they suggest to treat her with quinolone.
then.. she developed thrombocytopenia on quinolone, plt drop from 130 to 20!.
so hv to checked again her medical record, digging all her hx and medical record from GP and other hospital to get further information of allergic hx because leave other choice to start with bactrim again for treatment of PCP.

i wouldnt mind at all.(denial) but thinking of she's RVD +ve and ex-IVDU and MALAY LADY, made me feel so mad. try not to be judgmental but cant help myself. i dont think she deserve a treatment.

my bad. :(


i feel so mad at myself of being mad to her.

astaghfirullahalazim. :/

Friday, May 3, 2013


im incharge of acute cubicle this week; a cubicle of critical pts in the ward.

lega minggu ni table4. cuma 1hari oncall and 1hari blk pkl 10, the rest of the days blk pkl 4. risau kalau oncall jg acute. sbb tinggal sorg, u're the person in-charge, only u know the pt's details and anything can happened to the pts.

ade satu hari, full beds in acute, all 8 beds. and ALL of them are DIL (death in line), awaiting time to death. like their conditions already deteriorate and in pretty bad condition. only either AR or NAR from our side. (active resuscitation/ non-active resuscitation). either we have to do everything all the intervention we can to save them OR just give supportive management and let them go peacefully because of poor prognosis and unable resume to previous health if they recover. half of them opt for NAR. brain stem infact, septic shock, brain hemorrhage only for conservative mx, stroke, sepsis 2ry HAP with steven johnson syndrome resistance to acinobacter, CCF with AKI on top of CKD, cardiogenic shock, DKA with CVA.

and on this one afternoon all of sudden 2 pt desat while another 2 pt asystole. my 1st time wrote 'a death entry'. a pt of my colleague and he went home post call already. i just review her 15min ago with specialist and when the nurse want to take vital, BP is unrecordable. pt is AR. did CPR. 20min. still asystole. called MO and pronounced time of death.

so finished already 2weeks in acute.

im proved myself im not jonah. non of my pt died in my hand so far i'm in ward 24. haha.
instead there is 1 chronic pt hv been in ward for A MONTH. already issued DIL and AR. more than 2weeks she's in acute cubicle. lots of issues. AKI on top CKD require HD, CCF, NCNC anemia, HAP, sepsis, breast lump TRO breast Ca. she still unable to wean off O2. initially with BiPAP and when i take pass over still on HFM. under my care so now she's been transfer out from acute cubicle and currently on nasal prong. nothing much to be proud of. but just happy for myself because i take good care of her. ;)

as in acute, hv extra HO than other cubicle and 1st cubicle boss do round in the morning. so max 2pt per HO, boss start round at 7am and by 8am usually im jobless. :p but depends on boss. if u know ur pt thoroughly and u did ur job, boss tk marah, and round hbs cepat la kn.
and i made a plan for my pt. yes. making plan is a big thing. which meds to off or add on. how many fluid we want to give. should or should not increase the dose. need to refer to other specialty or not, etc.
so in morning review, i just put my thought wht i think the best mx for that pt and ask boss during round whether to carry on that plan or not. though usually it is insufficient and boss yg tambah lg plan byk2. but sokay. at least i did sumthing right.

happy. gain much more confident now. :)

Thursday, May 2, 2013


escaped. somehow its therapeutic.


lol im too lazy to write an entry.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

i was always strong as long as we were a team.

pejam celik pejam celik 2months already in medical. another half way to go. i think im improved a little much. gain much confident. and kinda proud of myself if i diagnosed and manage correctly. *pat on my shoulder.
but still not good enough. still not very good in presentation, still hv like 50% of questions from my boss i couldnt answer, still not clerk properly, still not remember the dosage of drugs, and still hv a lot to learn. still coping..

1 thing i hate bout myself is.. i cant hide my expression. kalau kena marah or when i feel bad/ sorry for myself ppl surround me can know much it affect me though im trying hard to hide it. tu tk pe, the worst thing is, its too obvious when i dont like someone. i try not to hate ppl. but just cant help myself. so the person know that i dont like him/her. sorry. its so obvious. i dont how not to not like you.

currently 2nd week in new ward. far much better than my previous ward, in the aspect of workload. much more lesser. like u only clerk max 2-4 cases per day. i can hv a nap in afternoon, hv a meal qid. what a life~ haha. just enjoy the moment because soon gonna be transfer to periphery which may hv to work 7day/week and take care double/triple of current pt right now.

just back from work. 16hours of my weekend i spend in hospital. tht's a doctor life. so adik2 kt luar sana, if u want to be doctor think again. mentally n physically tortured. seriously. think all of the family event that u gonna missed. nk dpt cuti susah gile ok! last week, grandmother of my colleague just passed away and she cant attend because of the work. sucks isnt.

i try to find a life outside hospital. good thing i have good support system. my sisters, dear awesome girlfriends (the place where we're whining and complaining and gossiping of our life everyday) and supportive wardmates. hang out after work, watching movies and food hunting.
its kinda help a lot coping with the stress from work. and currently i volunteered myself in one of the NGO do a charity; giving food to homeless in everytime im not working; post call day or finished work early. will talk about it later if rajin enough to write another entry. mcm tkde kerja kn. tiring but i kinda enjoy it. really need to escape to find another life far from a boring life home-hosp everyday. i dont want to be a robot. because currently we're really in very stressful job. so this how i going through it.

today my boss made my day. this my 1st time met him and round with him. a chinese MO guy. try my best present without looking at bht and do proper clerking. and i present about 7cases to him today. at the end of the day, he asks me; are you working till 10? -yes boss. who gonna replace you? are they good? -ilyas, ikram yeoh and azizah. yes they're. they're more senior than me. because you're quite good. 
hiks. i know quite good is not very good. but its good enough for me to feel good of myself. hehe. :')

Saturday, April 6, 2013

precious weekend

im so damn exhausted!

ppl come ppl go. for medical, ho and mo have to rotate. most of my awesome senior colleague are not around anymore. so does Dr M. very lack short no of ppl. satu table 3 org je, penat gile weyhhh! just recently newcomers br masuk. so currently we hv 7 taggers. ok la sikit.

and kerja mcm... #$@^%. im really not proud with myself. last week ade one day memang kena marah teruk dgn specialist for not knowing case in details. i feel bad. i feel bad for myself and feel bad for disappointing her. tanya soalan lg la mmg byk tk dpt jawab. feel stupid. and jg subacute seriously penat gile! cuma sehari je dapat ikut round dgn boss with other colleague dlm cubicle. the rest of the day, tk tahu pun katil sblh kes ape tk sempat nk ikut round.

my 1st patient die this week. expected already as he is very old and his condition deteriorate, underlying brain stem n pontine infart, developed HAP already and he opt for DIL NAR ( death in line?, no active resuscitation). he passed away 4am day before yesterday but i was not around. may u rest in peace uncle.

and my tablemate does not really helpful. im so damn pissed off with him! like i said before only 3ppl in a table. this week my other colleague took mc for 2days because she's sick. left me with other male colleague. boleh tak he went MIA and leave me oncall to cover 4 wards ALONE and took all morning blood by myself.?!
only came at 7am next morning innocently ask; ada blood lg tk nk ambil? bullshit! just thank God that night went peaceful with no big issues. he alwys did his work slow and steady then mcm da lmbt and kerja tk siap blood byk lg tk ambil, so i did most of the blood taking. pass over pun since die dtg lmbt so i took most of them from prev shift. still, he alwys ask me to punch card for him. come on la! seriously he's taking an advantage of me. i feel being bully. yesterday i decided to stand on my own didnt punch his card and left some blood for him. but my other colleague feel sorry so she help him.
i mean im not kinda yg berkira yg sgt buat kerja. i wouldn't mind at all to help. tp kalau da org lain pun berkira jgk ambil kesempatan mcm ni, bukan sekali dua, byk kali da buat mcm ni. melampau.

quite stressful working environment right now.

kerja macam robot. non stop pergi kerja, blk rumah tido bgn pergi blk. hv no life. kerja jadi kuli. so damn exhausted. kalau boss ok, colleague ok, environment ok, kerja seronok tk pe tau. even pharmacist in my ward is so damn annoying!. ppftt.


this job is sucks.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

2 weeks of life

alhamdulillah so far so good.

off tag already!
tagging is for newcomer. for u to learn everything. 7am - 10pm everyday. sehari dua boleh tahan, tp bile berterusan sampai sepuluh hari tanpa sehari pun cuti, memang penat! and its not exactly 10pm. sometimes u hv to stay till 11+. you hv to clerk 1st case in the morning and rotate with other colleague in the shift. luckily? i got busiest medical ward in hkl. they called it a war zone. really hectic. but in the bright side, a lot of opportunity to learn.

but so far im grateful to have very supportive colleague, nice MOs even kind specialist in my ward.
1st pt i clerk and present it to my specialist; he saw me stuttering and not very fluent present the case, so he clerk the case again by himself and i just re-write again what he said. tak marah pun.
my MO, esp dr M is super nice to me. for every mistakes i made, she didnt scold me. instead she teach me the right way how to do it. so that im not afraid to ask, and learn. i think im improved and getting better.
and my senior colleague really does help me a lot! hani, come here nk belajar buat ni tk. hani lets do this together, hani come i'll help you. they're very nice. and after 10days of tagging, they're also the one who give advise to request off tag from specialist. kesian kot, penat weyhh. some even say, kalau tk larat sgt nk blk tido g je, nanti kitorg cover. :') now i know i hv good support system. but we're all not in same boat. some are pull weight together and some rather to work alone. so i know who i can be friend with.
i only hv courage to ask my boss after day12. and its approved! but in the other hand, off tag means you're on ur own. u just start ur responsibility.

and since we're graduated oversea, agak ambil masa utk custom dgn system kt malaysia. drpd kt egypt yg lansung tkde system dgn malaysia yg sgt systematic. seriously i dont know how to document everything, how to write a memo, how to clerk and review, how to refer case, how to fill up the form etc. dapat mo yg baik nk ajar memahami ok la. tp yg sebaliknya tk terima alasan masih tagging dan hidup baru beberapa hari dlm medical ward sakit la kena marah. cuma mampu tadah telinga. (yup i alwys use that excuse for everythng i didnt know and for mistake i've made. haha) but its only work to some ppl.

for the procedure, i think im quite confident on my own. but not with the plan. still dont know wht to do. usually i just ask senior colleague or waiting for mo to review. also i dont like to made a phone call. in case need to refer and inform something to mo/specialist, it give me chills to the bone to call them.

they said the 1st 2weeks is the toughest part in HO life. so now i survived. alhamdulillah. i not even cry during my tagging. there was a moment i almost shred my tear in my 2nd day of life, then i just laugh. and the moment go away.

so currently,

im adapting and swallowing.
try to accept things as it is and keep the momentum.
still able to be positive.
hope i'll be remain positive.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

a new phase.

today is my 3rd day in HKL. so far so good. alhamdulillah. masih belum officially masuk kerja lagi.
1st two days cuma orientasi. kami newcomers 17 org; 10 org dari alex :D with others 80+ senior HOs from 2nd, 3rd even 4th poster orientasi bersama.

seriously mcm sambung ptm. dgr talk 8-5, minum pagi n lunch is also provided, and not to forget ada aktiviti kumpulan. mingle with other senior HOs, get some advice and there was a session during group presentation where everyone has to introduce him/herself at the front and give a comment about HO-ship.
whether it is true or not, but somehow it give a good impression. HO in HKL is not really bad.
from wht they've said, they enjoy it. only the 1st 2weeks in tagging is the hardest part and the rest, is ok. all pain of hard work is gone at the moment u got ur salary. lol. saw they're having fun, lot of laugh, not really stress etc and warm welcome to be a colleague.. are meant a lot. i say we're quite having fun during the orientation.

and today. the 3rd day meeting with timbalan pengarah; Dr Ding, fill up A LOT of forms! (we spend almost 2hours just for briefing how to fill them) and tour around the hospital with sister nurse.

btw Dr Ding says something really made my day.

when she called upon my name, she looks at me and her 1st impression was;

"your look seems you can survive everywhere. the enthusiastic face that we want to show to our pt everyday."


ohh. hope i could maintain the spirit.
da survive hidup 6 tahun yg mencabar kt mesir kn. so segala halangan cabaran dugaan pasti boleh diatasi!

pengarah HKL also graduated from Alex U. despite its a good thing, i think for sure there is certain amount of expectation. isn't?  hope all of us can perform very well. iA. sure we can.!

tomorrow i will start my 1st posting in medical. lets pray for the best.
looking forward to practice medicine and learn new things.


Saturday, February 23, 2013


perasaan bercampur baur. tk pasti gembira tk dpt HKL. ape2 pun inshaAllah ade hikmah disebaliknya. nak hospital besar kn, nah. pasti dpt peluang belajar dgn banyak. hopefully.

risaukn penempatan. tgh cr2 rumah lagi. hostel da takde, da dipindahkan ke setiawangsa. lagi jauh. so memang kena cr tempat tinggal kt luar la. haigoo.

and only 2 DAYS post-ptm (program transformasi minda) utk prepare ape yg perlu sebelum mendaftar kerja, really not enough. i wish i get more time.

but thankfully Alhamdulillah ramai se-Alex sama dpt kt HKL. and it gonna be fun!.

enjoy masa lapang sebelum sempit. tajdid niat. start fresh.

everything will be fine. inshaAllah.

another phase of life. da kena pandai2 la bawa diri.

kata sahabat handai, semua org da besar.


but im still daddy's little girl.

i love you, dad.

Friday, February 1, 2013

little panda bear

current most played. comel sangat.
cuba jadi annoying utk upload file autoplay, unfortunately ade problem settting flash player.
I practically raped the replay button.

yes, to my little panda bear(s) out there, i love you. 

Friday, January 25, 2013


  • woke up early morning. 
  • start the day with subuh mathurat and kahfi. 
  • enjoy the silence. listen the birds chirping and waves from the shore. 
  • laundry and housekeeping. 
  • lighting a scented candle
  • ke pasar
  • and spend the rest of the day at starbucks.
my definition of perfect friday.
all my escaped therapeutic fav things to do on my fav day.
and the best-est smell i had in a week; smell of fresh laundry, clean house and scented candle.

oh blissfull.

i missed those routine.

25 Jan
-2nd anniversary Egypt revolution.
-happy 25th birthday Syafaf!

penat dah jd penganggur! 

Friday, January 11, 2013

minor surgery

abang was admitted to hospital for ritual circumcision under GA dt ADHD. and he was admitted a day before the procedure to do blood investigation and fasting for at least 6hours.

alhamdulillah abang's 1st case in the morning, so wouldn't wait for long. dt GA, it took 3hours for the procedure which usually only 15-20min using LA. after regain conscious abang still drowsy and complain about pain. he refuses to eat and drink. i insist him to drink since his last meal was 9pm on the day before and no IV saline. unfortunately after half an hour, he vomits. he vomits 4 times this afternoon of everything he took.

abang moaning about pain all the afternoon. kakak tolong saya kakak. sy sakit. help me kakak!.  i try to give him comfort and hug him. but cant help myself, at the same time i cry. :'(  luluh hati.

dr comes to review his case at 3pm, order saline&dextrose, antiemetic & pcm. and abang has to stay for another night in the ward. i ask abang to eat and feed him. and at 8pm he vomits again. dr gives another dose of maxolon but abang still vomiting though no more food intake. he vomits 3 times at night. then dr gives the 3rd shot of double dose antiemetic.

the next day, alhamdulillah he's getting better and request for food, which his body rejected all day yesterday.  and no more vomiting. dr comes review abang at 3pm and abang can be discharged. yeay.
thank you doctors and nurses.


  • i rule out peds. cant help myself not to cry see all those small creatures suffer from pain.
  • they made a rule for reasons. that's why doctors are not allowed to treat family members.

p/s: i got the job! got offer letter from SPA earlier this week.
called kkm for induction and they dont hv a date yet. can be end of january or in february. just pray for the best. it has been 5 months already since last day of final exam. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013


fish village near the fortress
jog and cycling along corniche road
passing by mediterranean coast everyday to school
breathtaking scenery from stanley bridge
watching orcestra at theater on windy cold winter
enjoy breeze at shore on summer night
catching sunrise and sunset everyday from the window

blissful isn't?

how could i not miss this city?