Monday, March 29, 2010

lemas

letak harapan setinggi gunung. tak dapat capai, jatuh dalam laut. tenggelam.








sakit tahu.


p/s: 1am. br blk dr ObGyn department. enjoy. sakit kaki. rase nk dpt dvt. penat gle sampai tak boleh nk tido , tak lalu nk makan mode.
pp/s: i try to distract myself by keep myself busy.
ppp/s: btw, blk td sy pakai musyrif. tkc tahu ni mesti bangga.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

premature vaginal delivery polyhydramnios twin

lessons for today.
i stay after class till 730pm. and i learned a lot!

I
elder primary gravida which is 1 of high risk pregnancy is common in female dr. HA HA.

II
i watched 3 caeserion section. 2 pre eclampsia and 1 abortion.
satisfied! because i watched 1 complete surgical operation from the beginning till the end. procedure plng lama masa dr suture blk layer by layer from uterus till the skin. all the procedures take average about 30-45 minutes. and 1 of the pre eclampsia women got breech pregnancy. btw i didn't know the case is abortion until death fetus came out. hoh! tak boleh tgk. boleh jadi nightmare kot. i dont know how long was the fetus death in uterus, IUFD (intra uterine fetal death). the fetus is small but all the limbs are present. the head is shrinked and i'm not sure the face was developed or not. huh scary. terus lari keluar pergi bilik baby.

III
while i'm watching a nurse feed a baby, then she gave the baby to me. and i'm holding a newly born few hours baby at my arms! the nurse saids, ma takhofish. do not be afraid. sbb die tgk org cm kekok kot pegang baby. hoho. wow sy da pegang baby br lahir! :D

IV
coincidentally i met again the dr that explain about neonatal at emergency room last saturday. but today i met him at operation theater. and he recognized me. yeay! dr kacak sungguh kot. hihi. hi. how are you. aaaa. speechless sekejap. haha. xley bla. so i'm with the same dr again explain about neonatal. 1 of the babies got stridor and another 1 dr called him/her box head. i dont know if there is actual term box head in neonates.

V
a women recently admitted with abdominal distention like pregnant and complain of abdominal pain. drs did vaginal ultrasound but urinary bladder is full so they cannot see the uterus. they evacuate the bladder and did vaginal ultrasound again. guess what? uterus is empty! huh. then they did pregnancy test by urine test. negative. so the women come to wrong department and maybe psychological that she may think she is pregnant. they transfer her to hospital Miri for further management of the case.

VI
A pregnant women recently admitted ER. look in severe pain. and keep asking drs when she can deliver the baby. cervic dilatation just about 3 fingers (cervix dilatation must 5 fingers or 10cm for vaginal delivery). surprisingly, 1 of male dr just pull the women from bed. speak in a badtempered way order her to walk by HERSELF to labor room. and he just push her to labor board. OMG! so bloody rude. the dr is so arrogant! tiba2 terus rase cm hilang respect an. nk tercampak air mata tgk. the women in pain and the drs still can make a joke among them n laugh loudly in the labor room. they should have respect and treat in-labor-pain-pregnant women nicely as human being.

VII
1 of nice male dr (not the arrogant 1) offered me to do cervix examination. but i refused as i'm scared and not ready. yet. hoh cuak, tak berani lg kot nk masukkn tangan dalam cervix perempuan yg tgh sakit nk bersalin. then i regret why i'm refuse? aiyokk. offer susah nk dpt.

VIII
i wait about 1 hour and half for normal vaginal delivery. only 1 case available when i go to emergency room. Hx: 28y old. 26weeks of pregnancy. twin. UTI. polyhydramnios. cervix dilatation 4 fingers. and the women still in bed and not yet go to labour room. dr did cervical examination and i saw a fluid on the bed. 1st i thought the water just broke. but it is not physiologically because dr told me it was induced to withdraw excessive amniotic fluid by put the fingers on cervix and push on her abdomen slowly. then huge amount of water came out made like she lie on water-bed and wet all the floor around the bed. just like a waterfall? came out from vagina. and suddenly the baby just come out with the water. both baby. OMG! seriously tergamam. sbb pt bukan kt labor room. drs pun cm kelam kabut amik instrument utk sambut baby, potong cord, etc. hoh! normal pregnancy are 38-42 weeks. this is pre-term labor so both babies are very small, i think just about 20cm. huh. speechless. rase cm tak boleh nk berdiri sekejap an. huuhhhhhhhhhh.

ObGyn seronok. bolehla.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

.obstetric.

exam int med tak seteruk surgery-yg-rase-nk-mati.
khamis final exam, jumaat cuti n sabtu da start sem baru. nice kn?

welcome ObGyn. ObGyn seronok. hr ni br masuk 3rd day.
dr clinical round best. break setiap 45min sampai hbs kul 4.
jd tak rase cm lame sgt sbb ade break n dr ajar pun best.
n yg best kuliah dekat, kt shatby.
jd boleh pergi kuliah jalan kaki 15min saje. haha br sekali je la tp.
gap tgh hari boleh g library alex, boleh blk rumah,
n ade taman+bench kt dpn bangunan pead cm best nk duduk makan angin santai2 kt situ.
jadual, TBL, ILA mcm surgery. sabtu-rabu 9-4 n khamis half day.
i just wonder, kenapa kt surgery & ObGyn semua lecturer/prof lelaki?
kt surgery dulu memang lansung takde dr perempuan.
n kt ObGyn ni adela jumpe sorg, dr group kitorg. lecturer yg lain semua lelaki.

hari 1st, hbs kelas stay sekejap masuk labor room.
pengalaman 1st tgk normal delivery. hoh.
before ni pernah tgk caeserian section takla cm teruk sgt.
tak tgk full, dtg2 je baby da keluar n dr tgh nk bersihkn uterus.
nk pitam. tak larat nk tgk. @_@
dgr pt menjerit2, byk darah mbuak2, bau hanyir. urgh! ngilu rase.
n lps kelas td g tgk lg. tp belum dpt adapt. tak boleh lg nk tgk lame2.
lari pergi bilik baby. tgk baby2 comel sgt!
cm td ade 4 baby sekali. semua br lahir beberapa jam lps.
sorg meniarap merengek2. lg 2 tido nyenyak. lg sorg duk diam baik2. ha comel gle cm sorg tu kacau yg sebelah die tido. tangan tak duduk diam, menggeliat, merapai2 muka baby sblh. kalau da besar nanti derg jumpe blk, o kau yg bising kacau aku tido tu. haha. extrimities derg cyanosis. sejuk lg. kulit sgt lembut. halus kulit baby. n bau baby best. sgt berbeza la bilik baby dgn bilik labor. hoh. tak nk tgk labor lari g tgk baby.
kalau perempuan lps sakit2 bersalin then dpt baby. tgk that cute adorable little creature. mesti rase cm, berbaloi jgk sakit an..

sem br, mcm tak kelam kabut n santai2 lg.
skrg tgh distract myself with a lot of things
i'm try to let go. time will heals everything. hopefully.
go away! please.
keep myself busy, jd barula terasa hidup bermakna. :p
nk sambung balik kelas bA. project2 bermanfaat dgn sahabat handai. project masak&makan. grey's marathon. sukan. hang out. berlalala.

td ade tanye soalan. mcm mane kalau org tu tak baik, buat maksiat. tp die sembahyang. die bace Quran. kte nk judge die ape?
ntah nape timbul word judge. huh. salah soalan tu snanye.
the answer, tiba2 ada org mencelah jwb. kalau cm perompak/pelacur, die buat bende tak baik sbb nk menyara hidup. kalau tak, tak dpt duit utk makan, sara keluarga, etc. hurmm tak boleh jdkn alasan tu. jawapan cm tak dpt nk diterima sgt. then dpt jawapan yg cm best n memang terkesan kot.
maknanya solat die tak sempurna la. sbb solat dpt cegah perbuatan keji dan munkar.
org yg sempurna solatnya, pastinya tak buat maksiat kn. hurmm.

Friday, March 19, 2010

post exam II

project habis exam. :D

*post bajet (cm nk bangga, tapi tak boleh nk bangga sgt) dgn elle* haha

itu adalah kamu-tahu-ape. kalau tak tahu, buat2 tahu sbb tak nak ckp nanti lain ke dgn ape kamu igt itu ape tapi sebenarnya bukan.
1st attemp nmpk cm tak best sgt. takpe, cuba lagi tahun depan.
sape nk makan, mari dtg rumah.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

tips jimat letrik

tak nak komen exam surgery tadi. -_-
kata kawan2 mari buat solat hajat perdana lulus exam n naik tahun. da usaha. tinggal doa byk2 n tawakal.
bismIllahi tawakkaltu 3alAllah.

btw, minggu lps pkck bil letrik dtg. 6 bulan punye sekali kot. before ni tak penah dtg pun.

'bil letrik rumah korg ni mahal. mahal sgt. korg ade duit tak nak bayar ni?
skrg cuaca da ok. da tak sejuk sangat. korg pkai heater lg ke? kalau nak amik wuduk je pun tak payah la pkai heater. kalau nk mandi, nanti seminggu sekali barula pasang'. pfttt..

haha.

hoh bil letrik le1200. byrkn letrik satu imarah ke ape??

1 more to go. next!!!

red alert! internal medicine 18mac

Sunday, March 14, 2010

patuh

aaaaaaaa rase tak best. sbb melanggar peraturan.
hoh terasa tiba2 cm baik.
semua bende ada peraturan n peraturan ni bgs kn sebenarnya.
kn senang kalau boleh ikut je semua peraturan yg ade
boleh mendisiplinkn diri n jd lg baik
tp susah, n kadang2 sendri yg buat rule pun susah nk ikut
ape tah lg yg org lain o persatuan yg buat. hurmmm.

pernah je pikir, kte tak susahkn org lain. buat ape nk susahkn diri dgn peraturan?
kte tak kacau hal org n kte buat hal sendiri saje. kn senang.
haih. susah jgk kot kalau asyik pikir cmni je.
sbb ade org lain yg pikirkn pasal kte.
org lain pk nk jaga kte, nk pelihara kte. sbb tu ade peraturan.
igt derg senang2 je ke buang masa pk nk buat peraturan, etc.
tentu ada manfaat utk kebaikan semua kn.

susah jgk satu rumah dgn tkC ni. haha.
tkC baik. tkC tak tegur direct kalau buat salah.
(haha. tkC tak bace ni)
sbb die tau housemate die memang degil.
later, kte yg nanti nampak sendiri. kte yg nanti sedar sendiri.
skrg ni cm tiba2 tersedar diri. rase cm menyusahkn kwn sendiri. rase cm membebankn sesuatu yg tak sepatutnya dia pikul.
ye la cm tkC pegang tanggungjawab sbg pemimpin jgk an kt alex.
tkC pegang JAKSI, tkC jg kebajikan semua ahli. tkC suruh ahli ikut peraturan.
tp kawan/housemate sendiri tak nk ikut. kawan/housemate sendiri yg lagi langgar mcm2 peraturan. tak ke cm sgt lg memberikn kesukaran pd tkC yg tak patut kot kawan/housemate buat. mcm mane nk tarbiah pd org lain sedangkn kawan/housemate sendiri pun da tak nk ikut.
kadang tak sedar kte buat salah sbb tak nampak bende tu salah. selagi takde org tegur. nk jugak kn org tegur. tak sedar diri sungguh! da terang nyata da bende tu salah. tp selalunya mane nampak salah sendiri.

peraturan da ade. n peraturan dibuat bukan saje2. tahu..
peraturan derg buat pun berdasarkn Quran n hadith.
da cukup besar kot nk pikir dosa pahala, haram halal, etc.
tp sbb da terbiasa? buat. da tak rase cm bende tu salah.
org yg lain yg nampak kte buat tu salah.
tp bukan semua org lain berani nk tegur ckp kte salah kn.
byk je snanya yg perkara yg kte tak sedar kte buat salah.
da makin besar, sepatutnya da boleh pikir baik buruk.

lps ni kalau nk buat sesuatu yg tak pasti baik atau buruk,
kene pikirkn kesan. jangka panjang, jangka pendek.
kesan pd diri sendiri n org lain.
pikir kalau parents tau buat mcm ni, derg bg tak? derg marah tak?
mungkin kadang parents bg.
tp igt jgk hukum2 dosa, pahala, kemurkaan Allah semua.
kalau da memang tau bende salah, memang dosa kalau buat
tp still nk buat jgk, susah la kot. adei!
iman ade, ilmu ade. walaupun tak banyak mana,
praktikkn ilmu, jaga iman. kalau boleh, tambahkn lg.

perlu lebih patuh pd peraturan la lps ni.
hoh. kuat pengaruh tkC. keras hati mcm mane pun secara tak lansung terbias terkene jgk.

WALK THE TALK


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Norliza
















080310

happy 22nd birthday dear.

we love you!

Friday, March 5, 2010

loser!


I’m a loser! looooooser!
already got distracted before enter the exam
aiyoooo just a simple thing but can affected me for the whole day.
go straight home after the exam and burst into tears.
i can't control my emotion.
woke up at 11pm n still in the same cloth that i wear this morning.
i think i just lose everything n i have nobody beside to lend me the shoulder.
i hate this feeling! i hate when i'm felt such a loser.
Though yes! i'm a loser today.

somebody please hug me :'(

hope tomorrow will be better than today

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

build me up butter cup!




oh i can't help myself. currently most played. :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

project 28: mission accomplished



*clap2*

:D

new resolution: menjauhkn diri dr internet sampai habis exam 18/3. agk2 boleh tak? iA.

project 28: day 28


semangat hilang ntah ke mana. dlm kelas td cm terbang da sampai ke mane pun tak tahu. haishh. tak fokus! jd pergi menghiburkn hati yg lara utk mencari semangat yg hilang.
muke en.kacak terlindungla disebalik air. aishh.

*******
ok. ni gmbr kelas yg last dlm int med. sungguh! hari terakhir kelas. yeay! bye2 int med, we'll come back in next 2 years ok.